Basstard

Since his spaceship crashed on this backwards planet, BassTard has been bewitching and beguiling the nubile natives with his otherworldly DJ skills.  Whether he’s playing Deep House, Tech, Garage, or Breaks, his sound is unmistakably dark and sultry, with Basslines that transport, transform, and occasionally transcend the boundaries of space and time.

 

Having offended the Dolphins shortly after his arrival on Earth, BassTard was forced to socialize with the 3rd most intelligent species on the planet, and quickly found common ground with the mostly human members of the Deep Groove Society.  They mistook his monthly attempts to call home for help to be Full Moon parties, and BassTard had no choice but to just go along with it, admittedly with great success.  

 

The undeniably erotic undertones of BassTard’s music have led to much spontaneous coupling, and the occasional spontaneous combustion.  At least five children have been conceived solely due to influence of his music, and all of them are doing very well at their charter schools, thank you very much.  He’s also responsible for several marriages, and at least seven divorces, but he doesn’t like to talk about that.

 

BassTard has shared the stage with numerous amazing and preeminent musicians, but none of them really liked him as a person, so we shan’t list them here.  He’s also claimed that he’d rather broom cobwebs out of the corners of his living room than write self-indulgent vainglorious autobiographies, but that’s obviously not entirely true.

Basstard
Basstard
Basstard
Basstard
Basstard
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